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Festivals and Celebrations
Kakos Industries holds a number of festivals and celebrations devoted to various evil practices. In a typical year, at least 2 festivals are held every month, with one typically being announced during a set of Shareholder Announcements, and another recapped during the same broadcast. List of Festivals and Celebrations *'New Year's Festival:' Fireworks are used to suck up the bright lights and sparks from other people's fireworks, and preperations are made for the romantic pairings that will come into play in the next Darkest Universe Festival. Takes place on December 31st and January 1st. *'Shareholder's Ball:' The biggest and best of the festivals. It is held in the basement ballroom, and features entertainment (such as a performance by Cirque du SoWeird), costumes, and a buffet. After the 'classier' portion of the Ball, the Blood Orgy commences. Takes place in late February. *'Fire Festival:' One branch of Kakos Industries is burnt to the ground so it may be rebuilt better. Shareholders often gather to burn incriminating documents. Takes place in early March. *'Big Black Hole Celebration: '''Kakos Industries gathers at the big black hole in New York where the New York branch used to be, in memory of the accident that caused it. A living aurochs is dropped in. Takes place in late March. *'Darkest Universe Festival: Employees and shareholders alike channel their thoughts to try and make the universe as dark a one as possible. This culminates on Dark Friday, when the choice becomes permanent. Takes place in early April. *'''Agriculture Festival: A festival where shareholding companies and organizations bring their best and most destructive agricultural marvels. Some are genetically modified, and others are alien in nature. The CEO of Kakos Industries is not at liberty to cancel this festival. Takes place in late April on one of Earth's moons, but not the one you're thinking of. *'Water Festival: '''Kakos Industries checks in on their underwater city, Kakolantis, to see the isolated society evolve. Unfortunately, Kakolantian society seems to have settled into a peaceful and uncontested government. Takes place in early May. *'Nudity Festival: A celebration of nudity, which is broadcast into the homes of people who think nudity is immoral. Although not in the description of the festival, it usually turns into an orgy. This festival has taken place annually in late May since 1908. *'Celebration of Technology: '''Clients of Kakos Industries display and demonstrate their technological developments, culminating in a giant robot fight usually headlined by Giant Ass Robots to Kick in Your Face and Thorgonis Imports. Takes place in early June. *'Actual Renaissance Festival: 'Shareholders are given the challenge of rebuilding Europe before succumbing to the Black Plague (or Giant Robotic Ants). Takes place in late June. *'Celebration of Self-Love: A week wherein shareholders love themselves deeper and further than ever before. At the end of the week, they join in the basement ballroom in acelebration called the Bukakos, and one lucky winner has their face immortalized into the Bukakos mosaic. Takes place in early July. *'Evil Con:' A convention of evil, featuring panelists, vendors and the like. Lines are intentionally long, and hotel prices are higher than the market should be able to bear. Takes place in late July. *'CEO Celebration: '''Every CEO of Kakos Industries creates their own unique celebration to take place in early August. Celebrations have included: **'Fornication on a Train Celebration:' Created by Corin Deeth I's predecessor. Shareholder Announcements have only given the name of this festival, and the fact that it was replaced by the Scotch and Hookers Celebration. **'Scotch and Hookers Celebration:' Created by Corin Deeth I. Shareholders offer exorbitant prices to get others to do uncomfortable things, and then did even more uncomfortable things to get the money back. Replaced by Taco Tuesday. **'Taco Tuesday:' Created by Corin Deeth III. A week long celebration of tacos, featuring Kakos Tacos, which are evil enhancing drugs. Replaced by the CEO Festival. **'CEO Festival:' Created by Corin Deeth III after he received an opportunity to take a second chance at creating a festival. It is a celebration of the current CEO, Corin Deeth III. Monitors play highlights of Corin's time as CEO, and Grace Rule organizes a roast where employees and shareholders get to make jokes at Corin's expense. After the main celebration, attendees gather in train cars for fornication. *'Festival of the Dance:' From the moment it is announced during the shareholder announcements to the moment Corin announces its judgement on the next shareholder announcements, shareholders and employees must dance non-stop, or at least keep some sort of beat. The best and most creative dancing is judged. Takes place in late August. *'Festival of Fertility: Women who wish to sire a child without going through the hassle of a real relationship gather in the basement ballroom to meet and fornicate with genetically screened men. Since these children will be conceived on Kakos Industries property, the children will be partially owned by Kakos, and as such, Kakos Industries gets to provide a single letter which must be used in the child's name. Men are not allowed in unless they have been genetically screened, no matter how often they ask. Takes place in early September *'''Festival of Tripping Balls: Shareholders and employees are given doses of a potent hallucinogen and locked in the basement ballroom for eight hours. Then, the room is filled with marbles so that the attendees are tripping on actual balls as they trip metaphorical balls. Takes place in late September. *'Celebration of Books: '''The basement ballroom is filled with selections from Kakos Industries' library. This includes their stock of UltraErotica and DarkMegarotica, and as such, the celebration often turns into a nerdy orgy that is overall hotter, nastier, and more satisfying than most Kakos orgies. Takes place in early October. *'Halloween:' Kakos Industries pulls out all the stops. Features have included pregnancy machines, candy that makes people sexier, alcohol with no detrimental effects and tours of the facility. Takes place on October 31st (and sometimes the week surrounding it) *'Festival of Anti-Celebration:' The festival in which people recognize the pressure of the holiday season to be cheerful, and choose not to celebrate. There is no official procedure for this festival. Everyone anti-celebrates in their own way. Takes place in early November. *'Black Friday:' Stores all across America drop prices for Christmas sales, resulting in torrents of shoppers hoping to get the savings, trampling and assaulting each other for prospective gifts. Takes place on the day after Thanksgiving. *'Festival of Ballooning:' Various shareholders gather at Kakos to compete with combat equipped hot air balloons. Ordinarily, weapons are limited to scimitars. Takes place in early December. *'Yule:''' The winter solstice is celebrated with pine trees, gifts, food, and the KakoKrampus, a terrifying female beast who snatches up children and sometimes eats them. Takes place in late December.